The Note Found on the Person of the Dead Wizard Skewered From Above
Dear colleague,
The other day
you sent me a sealed letter containing a curse.
It must sadden you to learn
that I did not fall for it
and also
that the unfortunate golem messenger
who gave me the letter and then
tried to crush me
is now again just lifeless mud.
Your harpy friends
that recently paid me a visit
met a likewise unfortunate end.
I killed your hired assassins
and bested your summoned devil creatures,
I cured the deathly plague you sent
and never ate from your poisoned apples.
I didn’t lose my footing
on the slippery top stair either, sorry.
Your mage fire never burned my house
and that voodoo thing you did with my hair
had no effect as it was poor Fido’s hair
(and a real messy thing you did to Fido,
I must say).
So it is, my dearest colleague, that I write
to inform you that I am your superior in our craft.
Try to accept it with what honor and dignity
you can summon (no pun intended).
Oh, and you may wish to get your affairs in order
for this note is a trigger
for the spell that I put on you not so long ago.
Goodbye my dearest colleague!
Yours,
Abra K. Da’Bra
post scribble:
Do not look up.
Alexandra Seidel likes strawberries and is very averse to pink and/or frilly clothing. You don’t need pink and/or frilly if you can go black. She also happens to write prose and poetry. Her work has appeared or is forthcoming in the Bottom Of The World magazine, Zygote In My Coffee, Foundling Review, Nights And Weekends, 34thParallel, and Word Riot.
